How do you get someone who hates you to like you? You ask them for a favour, of course!

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I am sure, like me, you have someone(s) in your life you just can’t win over, for some reason they just hate you not matter what.

Ben Franklin, you know the guy known for flying kites and whose picture is now on the US$100 bill – had the solution to winning over the haters. It’s called the “Ben Franklin Effect”.

The Ben Franklin effect is when we do a person a favour, we tend to like them more as a result. This is because we justify our actions to ourselves that we did them a favour because we liked them. In psychology, it is called cognitive dissonance.

cognitive-dissonance

Benjamin Franklin himself said, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

Benjamin Franklin quotes what he describes as an “old maxim” in his autobiography: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

The Misconception: You do nice things for the people you like and bad things to the people you hate.

The Truth: You grow to like people for whom you do nice things and hate people you harm.

So what? Try using it. Ask people to do you a small favour. Borrow something small, insignificant. Don’t return it immediately.

The reverse effect is also true, so protect yourself. When people ask you for favours, watch out for feeling better about them.

So, I’d like to ask you a favour…share this with everyone you know.